Monday, January 12, 2009

Mary's Journal

Today, I sing.

I sing a song that is mine and mine alone. Walking towards Elizabeth’s house, the path is deserted. But instead of loneliness I find peace, and so I sing.

“There is a joy in my heart. A joy I do not understand.
There is a joy inside my soul.
And, it threatens to control the very essence of who I am.

I am nothing. I am something. I am yours and yours alone.

My God. Precious God. To you am I thankful.
For this gift that you have given me.

To the one placed inside of me. My thoughts are always of you.
I dream of who you are and what you will do.
Will you change the world? I know that you will. But how and when escapes me.
My thoughts they do betray me. For I fear that which will come for you.
I fear what wants to destroy you.

My baby. Small one kept secret for now.
You’re safe, you’re growing, tucked away from the world.
Baby of mine and yet, I am yours. For my heart already bears the scars of loving you.

Jesus. I’ll call you Jesus. The name bestowed upon you by God himself.
What plans he has for you? What meaning shall come from your name?
Will the world love or hate you? I’m haunted by these questions whose answers I know not. But today, you are mine. Kept safe within me.
Yes, safe within me.”

This is the song within my heart Lord. Today, I release it to you. As I walk towards my cousin’s house, I feel as though I am walking towards destiny for at this point there is no going back.

With each step that I take, the song in my heart grows louder. Perhaps it will grow so loud it will drown my fears and yet the grand noise of it shall betray my secret to Elizabeth. And, I fear what she will think of me. Will she believe my story? Though I am sure that he cannot, I wonder if Gabriel could go before me and tell my story that I may not have to explain this mystery.

I think that I shall not tell her.

For now is a time of rejoicing over the child that she is carrying. A miracle child in and of itself. Yes, today I will rejoice with Elizabeth.

But, this song. It threatens to consume me. I do believe my secret is written all over my face Lord, that I shall not be able to keep it no matter how hard I try. For, how can one hide the great mystery that is you.

Oh Lord, I promised to trust in you and you alone. Pave the way before me and be sure to hold my hand. For I go to rejoice and care for my cousin. I pray she will rejoice with me as well.


“He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord.” Psalm 40:3 NIV

The song of the Lord is as springs of living water and when the song is uttered it releases waves of healing restoration for your soul. So, regardless of circumstance, regardless of all that is around you, release your song unto the Lord.


The Blonde Duck said...

Gorgeous, as always!

Shanita Waters said...

Beautiful. I really enjoy the way you bring the thoughts and feelings that Mary must have felt alive. I also appreciate how you depict Mary as the mother of God yet still needing God herself. Your writing causes me to think more about what it would have felt like to be Mary. It's easy to look at Mary with a one dimensional view. I often pictured her as afraid, confused and humbled at the thought of carying Jesus. I forgot that there must have been grat JOY, honor,love and excitement that she felt as well.


Jennifer Pacacha said...

This makes me think not only more of Mary, but the Jesus inside of us. How often do we feel this way about revealing the changes God is making in us, revealing what God is doing in us. Who will believe us and take us seriously? Who will scoff at the new thing God is doing in our lives? How do we not share the incredible gift God has given to us? Do we allow it to lie dormant inside and never birth it? These are the things today's entry into Mary's Journal brought up for me.

Beverly Lewis said...

It's as if I am carried to another time and another place by your words. It's as if words from my own heart are transposed and come out through your fingertips. Pretty amazing.

I am going to post more Jacksonville early 1900's photos. We got a CD for Christmas with these old photos called "Memaw's Memories". A rich heritage that I knew little about since it's my husband's family. Fascinating.

Thy Word Is A Lamp Unto My Feet said...

You must have read Mary's mind (lol) - so real. It is said she was very young around 16 years of age and these thoughts clearly must have crossed her mind as she wondered the streets towards Elizabeth's house.

Love the writing and the vivid ways it's put into words.

Mary Moss said...

Beautiful. I imagine your "letter" today is very true to form.

You've done a great job of capturing Mary's nature.

Mel said...


sailorcross said...

Hi Spring!!

I stopped by yesterday and read this, went to leave a comment--and BAM--computer freeze!!

So, I'm back today!! I love this--all the feelings Mary must have had running through her heart and mind!! How she was fearful, blessed, humbled and joyful!! And now she is on her way to Elizabeth--one of my very favorite parts of her story!! I can't wait until next week!


WishTrish said...

Oh, that is just beautiful! Love it!

The Blonde Duck said...

Hey, did you see this? I'm going to do it. You should too!

(Word challenge post)

A Free Spirit Butterfly said...

It's really incredible the gifts and uniqueness that God has blessed us with and I thank you for sharing yours. Your ability to have readers close their eyes and actually imagine it leaves me speechless....

Have a great one!
the butterfly

tara @ kidz said...

Such a lovely reminder. Thank you.