Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Time to Potty Train

Welcome to Whimsical Wednesday, where laughter gets us through the week!

Yesterday, my daughter changed her own diaper.

It occurs to me that this is a sign of her readiness to potty train, and yet I cringe at the very thought of it.

I am no good at potty training. Why do I say I am not good at it? Because I know that I am not good at it.

For instance, we tried the immersion method with Squeaker (our daughter) once before. We bought her underwear of her choice and announced the special day that would be potty training day.

Squeaker proudly wore her underwear and sat on the potty every 20 minutes for about two hours with no success. Considering all the juice she had been drinking, I knew we would need to “go” at any minute so I was trying to watch her closely. But, the minutes ticked by and I got distracted.

Squeaker climbed into a dinette chair and sat down for lunch. She took a bite of her food and released her bladder all in one simultaneous motion. I yelled, “Squeak, you’re wet.”

With a bit of sandwich hanging out of her mouth, she climbed out of her chair, swooshed her hand across the seat spraying pee all over the floor, shook her hand off, climbed back into the chair and resumed eating.

After we washed everything, the diapers came back into being.

Now, this in itself is not enough to scare me out of potty training. No, this is a small blip on the radar. The real root of fear was planted with our first born.

Enter Bug, our son.

At 2 years of age, we tried everything with him. Nothing worked. He simply did not want to go on the potty, so I let it go.

One day, I took Squeaker (who was still in an infant carrier) and Bug to meet a friend and her kids at the library. As we walked into the lobby, Bug announced his immediate need to use the potty.

I was speechless. I looked at my friend for guidance.

“Well, you have to take him.” She said.

“But, I don’t have the diaper bag.”

“Take him!”

So, leaving Squeaker with her, I ran Bug to the nearest restroom yelling all the way, “Hold it son, hold it, we’re almost there, hold it!”

Into the restroom and into a stall we went. Now mind you, I had to carefully remove the diaper so we could reuse it as I had nothing with me. Careful not to touch the inside of the diaper to the dirty floor, I laid it on the ground. And of course I’m yelling all the while “Hold it son, no don’t touch that…no, don’t put your hand in the water….Son! Just wait on me.”

Finally, I get the boy on the potty and he says, “Oh, I don’t have to go.”

You don’t have to go? Boy, you better squeeze something out.

Trying to win the good mommy of the year award, I bite my tongue….lift Bug carefully off the potty seat, replace old diaper and re-dress him. It was sometime during this process that a strange image flashed across my mind. What was that weird thing on the wall by the sinks.

That’s when it hit me. That’s right. It was a urinal.

Okay, I say to myself, this is a bad dream. That wasn’t a urinal. We really are in the right restroom. Just in case we’ll sneak…….

Nope. No sneaking. At this point someone turned on the water and started to wash their hands. I was cornered and Bug was getting antsy.

Out of the stall we walk only to be caught like a deer in headlights in the glare of a man whose expression could only be described as “Oh dear Lord, I am going to jail!”

The worst part is, he started looking around to make sure he wasn’t in the wrong restroom.

Now, you would think I would quickly slink out of the restroom, leave the library and never step foot in there again. But, you have to understand that I am very OCD and my 2 year old had just touched a toilet. We had to wash our hands. So, standing at the sink, next to the man, I wash my son’s hands and apologize profusely trying to plead my case.

“He had to go.” I said.

The man finished washing his hands and backed his way out of the restroom, never taking his eyes off of us.

With head bowed in disgrace, I exited the restroom to the sounds of my friend’s hysterical laughter.

So yes, potty training is terrifying and with child #2 ready to take the potty plunge, I grit my teeth and pray that at least part of my dignity remains intact after the ensuing battle.


sailorcross said...

Oh my goodness!! You went into the men's room!!! That is just too funny!!

Thanks for starting my day with a laugh and a smile!!

As for potty training, I can tell you from experience--when they are ready then they are ready--and no amount of coercing, bribing, or pushing is going to get them ready any sooner!!

My son was 3 by the time he even announced anything about a potty!! Of course, Grandma was a frazzle over this!!

My girls--so easy and simple. I waited, they said they had to go potty and that was it!! There really was no "training" on my part at all.

Good luck to you with your Squeaker!! If she is starting to change her own diaper, I'd say she's on the way!


Mary Moss said...

Ok, I can understand a small amount of trepidation at the thought of potty training:-)

The twins I watched are of divided mind: 1 will probably potty train himself within a couple of months, the other doesn't like sit on the potty seat or the potty thingy that fits over the toilet because they're too cold!

Joanie Butler said...


This is hysterical! I can remember all too well the struggles we had with potty-training. In fact I also blogged about our experience with a post called "Poo-poo Prayer."

I am so glad that that experience is behind us now. I'll say a poo-poo prayer for you today.

BTW, I love the nicknames you have for your kids!

Pen to Paper; Spirit to Soul said...

Too funny!!! I really do feel for you! I agree with sailorcross..when they are ready, they are ready! Carolina was way too easy, LeAnn - it took a while! Remember, girls are so much easier!!!

Good luck with that!


Krista said...

LOL that is fabulous! having just survived potty training #2, who was by FAR the more difficult of the two, I am chortling with glee... not in a mocking way, you understand, but in the old "I've been there and it's good to know we all have those moments" kind of way.

good luck. at least she's a girl, the transformation should happen a lot faster for her than for big brother. you can do it.

and when you are at your wits end, blog about it some more. I found it VERY therapeutic.

Shanita Waters said...

Hi Spring,

Drop by when you get a chance. I've completed the blog you asked me to do.

I enjoyed it too! Thanks for the assignment. **smiles**

Shanita Waters said...

Okay, that was TOO funny. It's going to get better soon. The more Squesker learns to talk, the easier it will get. She already knows she does't like to be wet so that's a good thing. It won't take her long.

I was blessed my mother watched my kids while I worked so she did most of the hard work for me. My son is 3 1/2 and finallly potty trained even though I still clean him after he does the unthinkable.

The Blonde Duck said...

I laughed so hard I cried.

Truth4thejourney said...

LOL That was so funny!!! I'm glad you both survived it. I think that potty training is one of the most trying things a parent can do.

I used pull-up type diapers with my youngest and that worked out really well for her. Then we transitioned into undies.

May God give you the grace and patience you need during this very trying but exciting time.


tara @ kidz said...

Oh wow I won't mind changing diapers near as much after reading this post! Potty training - oye!

B His Girl said...

That's funny Spring! Read the signs girl!

Robin said...

I am rolling on the floor laughing as I read this! Oh Spring - that is the funniest story. Hopefully you are laughing by now too! This one will be a fun family story for many, many years to come!

Edie said...

LOL!! Oh my goodness that would be so embarrasing! I never had any trouble getting my daughter to potty train. If they aren't ready then it just needs to wait til they are.

Best wishes to you!