Monday, January 5, 2009

Mary's Journal

My hands are still sweating. Favored one. Me? Favored for what I must ask.

I still do not fully understand. If my heart could be anymore torn it might break in half. Joy and fear threaten to battle for occupation of my mind and I’m not sure which will win.

Favored one. Me?

Can tears fall from happiness and terror? Can one tear drown fate and another spring life? For my tears deceive me and they know not why they fall. In my pillow do I allow my tears to soak through like a bloodstained cloth. For one moment I am at peace and the next torment.

Favored one. Me?

His light was so bright. The one you call Gabriel. Heavenly to be sure for none could possess such a light source and be of this earth for he emanated that which could only be replicated by the sun itself and yet, it did not burn me. No, his presence was cool, peaceful, like a babbling brook whose source evades all capture. His words were soothing as silk coursing against one’s skin and yet they were loud as if rattling around the inside of a great cavern. My heart ached in his presence and I could not doubt he was sent by you, my Lord.

But, favored one. Me?

Am I not a poor peasant girl? Simple in all manners and ways? For today, I was doing nothing much of consequence. Nothing that would stand out to anyone of importance, but tonight…your angel. Gabriel. I fear my life has changed forever. I fear what tomorrow holds.

But, I will trust in the one who holds my tomorrow.

For I know You, my Lord. I have followed your ways and trusted your heart. I sought you in all things and believed you in all things. Why now, upon such great evidence, should I stop? No, I shall not for You are mightier than the sword, stronger than all that would test my faith. No, my Lord, I shall not leave you now.

Now, I will trust you all the more.

Bestow upon me what you will, my Lord. May it be to me as the angel has said.

“For nothing is impossible with God. ‘I am the Lord’s servant,’ Mary answered. ‘May it be to me as you have said.’” Luke 1:37-38

I pray that you see yourself the way God sees you. For you are not forgotten or unnoticed. You are not “poor” in the sight of the Lord. No, you are favored. You are a daughter of the King and nothing is impossible with God. Trust in him. Throw all cares on him and today seek God for the purpose of your life for He is ready to bestow your destiny upon you.

*author's note: This Mary's journal is similar to the original one in Dec however, this new revised version is the first official journal entry for the "Mary's journal" devotionals. Hope you enjoy.


The Blonde Duck said...

That's really cool. I always felt bad for Mary. She had a hard road.

Mary Moss said...

As always, beautiful.

Pen to Paper; Spirit to Soul said...

But, I will trust in the One who holds tomorrow...YES, I will!!!
Thank you for encouraging me!!!

Shanita Waters said...

I just loved it! Now I have the Love Letters to the King and Mary's journals too look forward to. God has blessed you and annointed you to write.

I love how you tapped in to Mary's thoughts and feelings. She may have carried the savior but at the end of the day still needs a savior herself. There are a LOT of people that will be blessed by this.

Again, I will continue to pray for God to enlarge your territory. There is a song called "Enlarge My Territory". It's really pretty. I can't think of who sings it right now but it came to mind.

sailorcross said...

Hi Spring!!

I have been thinking a lot about Mary--especially during the preCHRISTmas season.

And I have tried putting myself into her place--faced with the precious child she was carrying and then delivered--putting my own feelings at the birth of my own son into her feelings.

And I wonder--did she know? I can only imagine at the birth of my own son if someone had said to me--Okay, you have longed for this child, you have carried and delivered him--yes, even against the advice of others. You have fallen instantly in love with him. Now, this child, the one you hold in your arms--this child is going to be the Savior of the world. He will suffer persecution, torture and a painful death--all for the sake of others, even herself.

And I wonder--did she know? How did she feel?

Mary--she was so brave and so trusting. God sometimes calls us to do things that may seem risky and even dangerous to us--completely out of our comfort zone.

Yet knowing that God has called us to this, trusting with full faith that God will see us through--that is the spirit of Mary's heart.

Thanks for stopping by today. I was here earlier today before I left for work--I read your post but didn't have time to comment. I wanted to be sure to get back this evening.


Spring Fricks said...

Beth you are exactly right.

Did she know? I mean, Christ was her son. How do we react to our son and how would we handle knowing what she knew about her son.

I think sometimes we (as a church) are afraid to study Mary because for fear of being accused of worshipping Mary. But it has nothing to do with that. She is a beautiful model of a Christian life. A model I am just now beginning to learn from. All I can say is thank you Lord for her sacrifice, he willingness to obey.

Melanie said...

'Looking forward to more of Mary's Journal.

Edie said...

Oh I did enjoy this, very much indeed. It has spoken to my heart. Thank you.

wendy said...

thanks so much for visiting my blog today. Off to lurk around yours! :)

A Free Spirit Butterfly said...

Love it and thanks for the reminder that I am not forgotten and I am not poor. I am very rich indeed because of Mary's Journal and Jesus' sacrafice and GOD's unconditonal love! No one and nothing can compare.

Have a blessed week!
May this year be one of endless JOY!

Thy Word Is A Lamp Unto My Feet said...

That is awesome. Mary has gotten a bad rap because of how she's worshiped by other denomination. Her story is worth giving a lot of attention to considering it wasn't easy in her days to be pregnant without being married and to be to mother of God. I can't wrap my head around that idea at all.

She was trusted with raising the King of all kings - Jesus. No wonder we are to call her blessed.

You did an outstanding job. Also, thank you for visiting my blog. I will stop by for more of Mary's Journal.