How to Dress a 2-Year Old

Whereas Mondays are reflective and Fridays are dedicated to Love Letters to the King, Wednesdays must bring with it a little witticism to get us through the week. Because girlfriend, if we aren’t laughing on “hump” day, we just might not make it through.

I am wondering if anyone else has trouble getting their young children dressed in the morning. You see, I have long since decided that I did not birth a precious little princess who stole my heart before I ever laid eyes on her. No, that is the fantasy version of it. In actuality, I birthed a fashionista whose Diva standard hits new heights on a daily basis.

Where her attitude is concerned, I take most of the blame. When choosing names for this little sweetheart, I begged my husband to let me name her Regan. This was our first glimpse into the battles that awaited us since Regan is Gaelic for “queen”. Of course Mommy, being a very OCD type-A perfectionist, had to pick a middle name that matched the first so we chose Nicole which means “ruler of the people”.

Now, anyone in their right mind would have seen the set up and sidestepped it, but I just figured she was headed for a life in politics. What I forgot was all the training that would need to take place before her first cry and her first oath of office.

So, this morning as I was once again tackling the “you must get dressed now – we have to leave – your brother is going to be late for school” daily routine, I remembered a how-to clip I wrote about a year ago on how to dress your sweet precious little girl and I thought I would share.

Here it is.

How to Dress a 2-Year Old Girl

It’s morning and once again you must dress your 2-year old daughter. Here are some simple steps that will make the procedure as painless as possible.

First, stretch out. Remember, she is younger, faster and more flexible.

Second, have two completed outfits ready for her to choose from. Any less would cause dissention in the ranks, any more and you will be there all day.

Third, you’ll need to catch your child. Make sure you plan your strategy carefully much like a lioness would when tracking a gazelle. Don’t forget to make a mental note of all the toys in the floor. It would do no good to end your chase with a broken leg.

Once your daughter is secure, you move to the fourth step of exchanging pajamas for day clothes. Please make sure her pacifier is out of her mouth before you remove her shirt or the neck hole may become permanently lodged around her nose and head.

Now that her outfit is on, finish the ensemble by fixing her hair and putting on her shoes. (Special note: always keep an extra pair of socks with you because hers will go missing.)

Be sure to compliment her on how beautiful she looks as she runs off posing as if she did all the work.

Finally, reward yourself by sitting down, taking a deep breath and drinking yet another cup of coffee because any minute now you’ll have to do it all over again.

Can anyone relate?