Wednesday, December 3, 2008

God Knows

I have scoliosis.

Defined, this simply means curvature of the spine. For most, it is easily treated with no long term effects. For some, it has major repercussions.

I was diagnosed with this disorder in the sixth grade and had to wear a brace 23-hours a day over the next two and a half years. During a time when I wanted to wear the latest fashions, I instead dressed to conceal the brace. Instead of playing sports with my friends, I cheered them on from the stands. Instead of being a go-getter, I hid to avoid ridicule.

At the end of the two years, it was determined that the curvature of my spine was still progressing and I underwent spinal fusion surgery. This brought another onslaught of preteen issues as I spent the first half of my eighth grade year in a hospital bed in the front room of our house taking classes from a state paid tutor.

The years ticked by and I hid this disability beneath the appearance of a normal body. With no outward expression of the metal fused to my bone, no one need know that I was limited. Especially me.

I lived as if the problem did not exist. Despite the pain, despite the physical limitations, despite the second fusion 14 years after the first, I lived as if there was not nor had been a disability.

My cloak of denial was dismantled when earlier this year, my disability took on an outward appearance. Now, at times, I walk with a cane. Not only did my limitations become visible to those around me, they were now visible to me.

I began to cry out to God, “Why can’t I do the things everyone else can do? Why can’t I be normal?”

These cries were followed by a laundry list of everything I wanted to do and have never been able too. I cried on the shoulder of my God until he moved upon my heart.

“Sweetheart,” he whispered, “I know.”

Through this He showed me that when I spend time telling God everything I can’t do, I am telling him something that He already knows. But, if I will get quiet before Him, lay my circumstances down at His feet, fall at the foot of the throne and listen; then I will be primed to find out what He wants me to know.

Proverbs 19:21 says, “Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” (NIV)

My God purposed me for a destiny created just for me. He knew my limitations before I did and that did not change His mind about the things He created for me to do. When I let go of my predisposed beliefs about my purpose and I take on the purposes of God then I realize that “I CAN do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Phil 4:13

Is there a circumstance in your life that has limited to you? Is there something you need to lay at the cross? Let’s take time today to get in touch with the one who created us and find out the purpose He has for each of our lives.

And, let’s encourage each other along the way.

8 comments:

Truth4thejourney said...

What an amazing post! I am sorry you live with a disability, but God can and will use all of us, regardless of our own limitations.

For some of us, our limitations are emotional, for some physical, no matter what it is, God will use us if we let Him!

Have a blessed day my talented friend,
Sonya

Julie Gillies said...

Spring,

My heart goes out to you. While I've endured a plethora of health woes in the past few years, it's all new to me. Physically, my childhood was robust. (Emotionally, an entire different story.)

One thing I've discovered: physical limitations propel me into the arms of the One who loves me unconditionally. It sounds like you're there, as well.

Feel free to e-mail me, Spring. grammyblogspot7@yahoo.com

Spring Fricks said...

Hi guys,

You know, I was thinking. One day, I am going to write a post all about the healing God is going to give me but until then, I am thankful for all the nuggets of truth I am learning along the way.

Through all of life's circumstances we gain a greater knowledge of who God is and His love for us and that in itself is awesome.

Thank you for your kind words.

Shanita Waters said...

Again, another well written encouraging post. I bless God for you and His ability to use you in spite of what you may have saw to be limitations. To God be the glory!

B His Girl said...

I am so glad you stopped by my blog because it led me to your blog. I enjoyed the posts I read and when I have time, I'll be back. I had a good friend from high school who wore the brace. She also had the surgery you mentioned. She is in heaven now because of an unrelated disease. I know it was difficult for her, yet she always had the best sense of humor. I miss her laugh.
We are all gifted. The question is "Will we give our gift to God?" I am so glad you are using a couple of your gifts. I see the writing gift and the gift of encouragement. I have the encouragement gift but struggle to write a post. I blog in obedience. I hope you have a great day Spring. It is a little overcast on my side of Florida, almost warm. Don't you love our weather, except for the occasional hurricane? B

Chatty Kelly said...

Hi Spring! I'm glad to meet you, through Sonya. I am so sorry to hear of your pain and trials. I hope the Lord will continue to tell you he knows and that you can have peace in that.

Very good writing today.

Mary Moss said...

Oh, my! What powerful words. God clearly speaks through your poetic and spirit-filled voice.

I don't know how anyone makes it through a single day without a faith that God is not only with us, but that He planned every instant of our lives before the world began.

Blessings to you my Christian sister.

sailorcross said...

Hi Spring!!

I finally have had a chance to stop by, and I thought I would spend a little perusing here.

I knew that you had scoliosis, but I didn't know the extent of this. I know the pain of those teenage years wearing that brace. I had one, too.

God is using you, and will continue to you--not in spite of--but because of this disability.

Thanks for sharing this with us, Spring.

Beth