Nathan and the Cookie

This is my son.




After six weeks of grueling bed rest to keep him in the womb and then a 12 hour induction to get him out of the womb, Nathan burst forth into the world and stole mine and his Daddy’s heart.

Ever since, he has confounded us to no end. Why? Because there is no parenting book known to man that explains our son.

Our biggest issue with him…food.


Here is the look that Nathan gives us every night at the dinner table.





Nathan avoids any food that contains color. The exception to this rule is cheese. His favorite dish – kashi crackers and sliced cheese.

Our pediatrician has given us many ideas to try and we have put forth our best effort only to have each idea crash and burn.

For example, there was the “grow your own food” idea. That way, he is invested in the food and will enjoy his bounty at harvest time. He was invested alright, but his idea of bounty was watching us eating it.

Then there was the “let him cook with you” idea. Nathan was very excited about this idea and had a blast cooking. But, in the end, he plated the food and offered it to his sister. As he is a very good big brother.

After running the gamut of ideas, we had only one option left. Bribery.

Enter “blue iced star cookie”. (I would have had a picture but my husband ate the cookie.)

We have a friend who makes the best iced cookies in the whole world. But, since it takes three days to make these cookies, we only get them at Christmas and Valentine’s Day. Last Friday, we had one cookie left. A blue-iced star cookie. Nathan had been eyeing it the entire day.

Daddy and I decided to use the cookie.

We sat down to dinner. Now mind you, we had already had our daily discussion of what’s-for-dinner-I-don’t-like-that-fix-me-something-different, but this time we had ammo.

“Nathan,” I said, “here’s the deal. All you have to do is taste a piece of roast. Chew it up real fast and swallow it. Then, take half a sliced carrot and do the same. If you do that, you can have the blue-iced star cookie.”

We even put the cookie on the table so he would know the reward was real.

Dinner went as usual. Mommy, Daddy and sister ate. Nathan stared at his plate. Mommy, Daddy and sister finished their food, sister asked to be excused, Nathan stared at his plate.

Then, the bartering started.

“Why Moooommmmy, why can’t I just have the blue-iced star cookie noooowwww.”

This is now evoking not so calm responses. “Nathan, for all that is decent and holy, please eat the food. One bite son. That’s all we ask. Don’t even chew, just swallow and we’ll call it good.”

We sat for another ten minutes.

Losing all hope, I was about to clear the table when Nathan’s face lit up. He jumped out of his seat and ran around the end of the table to stand between us.

“Mommy, Daddy, here’s the deal” he started, “I am going to take the blue-iced star cookie and tear it in half. I will give one half to Daddy and one half to Mommy. Then you can eat the cookie.”

“But Nathan….” I tried to intervene.

“No Mommy, it’s okay. You guys eat the cookie. I will not eat the cookie and I will not eat the food. Okay?”

With Mommy and Daddy’s jaws on the ground, Nathan then asked to be excused from the table. No food. No cookie. May I get down now?

“Yes…..yes you may.”

Perhaps one day he’ll eat something nutritious. Until then, Kashi crackers and cheese are my specialty.

How to Dress a 2-Year Old

Whereas Mondays are reflective and Fridays are dedicated to Love Letters to the King, Wednesdays must bring with it a little witticism to get us through the week. Because girlfriend, if we aren’t laughing on “hump” day, we just might not make it through.

I am wondering if anyone else has trouble getting their young children dressed in the morning. You see, I have long since decided that I did not birth a precious little princess who stole my heart before I ever laid eyes on her. No, that is the fantasy version of it. In actuality, I birthed a fashionista whose Diva standard hits new heights on a daily basis.

Where her attitude is concerned, I take most of the blame. When choosing names for this little sweetheart, I begged my husband to let me name her Regan. This was our first glimpse into the battles that awaited us since Regan is Gaelic for “queen”. Of course Mommy, being a very OCD type-A perfectionist, had to pick a middle name that matched the first so we chose Nicole which means “ruler of the people”.

Now, anyone in their right mind would have seen the set up and sidestepped it, but I just figured she was headed for a life in politics. What I forgot was all the training that would need to take place before her first cry and her first oath of office.

So, this morning as I was once again tackling the “you must get dressed now – we have to leave – your brother is going to be late for school” daily routine, I remembered a how-to clip I wrote about a year ago on how to dress your sweet precious little girl and I thought I would share.

Here it is.

How to Dress a 2-Year Old Girl

It’s morning and once again you must dress your 2-year old daughter. Here are some simple steps that will make the procedure as painless as possible.

First, stretch out. Remember, she is younger, faster and more flexible.

Second, have two completed outfits ready for her to choose from. Any less would cause dissention in the ranks, any more and you will be there all day.

Third, you’ll need to catch your child. Make sure you plan your strategy carefully much like a lioness would when tracking a gazelle. Don’t forget to make a mental note of all the toys in the floor. It would do no good to end your chase with a broken leg.

Once your daughter is secure, you move to the fourth step of exchanging pajamas for day clothes. Please make sure her pacifier is out of her mouth before you remove her shirt or the neck hole may become permanently lodged around her nose and head.

Now that her outfit is on, finish the ensemble by fixing her hair and putting on her shoes. (Special note: always keep an extra pair of socks with you because hers will go missing.)

Be sure to compliment her on how beautiful she looks as she runs off posing as if she did all the work.

Finally, reward yourself by sitting down, taking a deep breath and drinking yet another cup of coffee because any minute now you’ll have to do it all over again.

Can anyone relate?