Silence

In silence I sit as a tug-of-war ensues within my mind. A battle between life’s responsibilities and the destiny God has called me too.

So much to do….

So many to email, call, or just make contact with…

Tumbling class, baseball practice, church, school and social events…

Grocery shopping, household chores and pets

And, I cannot forget the most important thing of all: breakfast, lunch, snacks and dinner as little mouths must be fed…

My destiny lies dormant underneath a canopy of to-do lists. It whimpers under the weight of such a heavy load and yet, I must hope and dream. I must trust God with what He has called me too.

But, does God trust me?

My God has entrusted me with a destiny, just as He has entrusted you. And, He is waiting to see what we will do with it.

Destiny starts as a God given desire, gifting or talent. It’s the dream within our heart. The one that screams this is what you were born to do. When I hear its call, I can either answer or dismiss it.

I answered. And, I called upon God to show me how and what to do with it. Covering the dream with prayer, I waited for the Lord to open the door and show me the next step.

But, in the waiting, I became busy.

I used to say, “I know what God wants me to do, but I have small children and I’m buried in life. It’s hard, but He understands.”

That, however, is no longer good enough. I’ve seen and tasted the things of God. I have heard His call and understand that He is waiting on me.

Well, I’m ready.

I’m ready to stand up and take the challenge. So, today I break the silence and say, “Yes Lord…here am I…send me.”

No matter how hard, no matter how inconvenient, no matter how time consuming, I will pursue the destiny the Lord has called me too.

Today, I return God and His call to the top of my priority list.

Are you ready to answer “yes” to the call? If so, I’d love to hear about it, in hopes of encouraging each other in the destiny of our lives.

Mary's Journal

My hands are still sweating. Favored one. Me? Favored for what I must ask.

I still do not fully understand. If my heart could be anymore torn it might break in half. Joy and fear threaten to battle for occupation of my mind and I’m not sure which will win.

Favored one. Me?

Can tears fall from happiness and terror? Can one tear drown fate and another spring life? For my tears deceive me and they know not why they fall. In my pillow do I allow my tears to soak through like a bloodstained cloth. For one moment I am at peace and the next torment.

Favored one. Me?

His light was so bright. The one you call Gabriel. Heavenly to be sure for none could possess such a light source and be of this earth for he emanated that which could only be replicated by the sun itself and yet, it did not burn me. No, his presence was cool, peaceful, like a babbling brook whose source evades all capture. His words were soothing as silk coursing against one’s skin and yet they were loud as if rattling around the inside of a great cavern. My heart ached in his presence and I could not doubt he was sent by you, my Lord.

But, favored one. Me?

Am I not a poor peasant girl? Simple in all manners and ways? For today, I was doing nothing much of consequence. Nothing that would stand out to anyone of importance, but tonight…your angel. Gabriel. I fear my life has changed forever. I fear what tomorrow holds.

But, I will trust in the one who holds my tomorrow.

For I know You, my Lord. I have followed your ways and trusted your heart. I sought you in all things and believed you in all things. Why now, upon such great evidence, should I stop? No, I shall not for You are mightier than the sword, stronger than all that would test my faith. No, my Lord, I shall not leave you now.

Now, I will trust you all the more.

Bestow upon me what you will, my Lord. May it be to me as the angel has said.


“For nothing is impossible with God. ‘I am the Lord’s servant,’ Mary answered. ‘May it be to me as you have said.’” Luke 1:37-38


I pray that you see yourself the way God sees you. For you are not forgotten or unnoticed. You are not “poor” in the sight of the Lord. No, you are favored. You are a daughter of the King and nothing is impossible with God. Trust in him. Throw all cares on him and today seek God for the purpose of your life for He is ready to bestow your destiny upon you.

*author's note: This Mary's journal is similar to the original one in Dec however, this new revised version is the first official journal entry for the "Mary's journal" devotionals. Hope you enjoy.